Lipstick

Red

Like the blood pumping from my heart to my arteries,

increasing flow with every touch.

The color of my lipstick, or at least it used to be;

right before you took my breath away by kissing me,

silencing the mumbling of my fears.

Pink

Like my cheeks in the summer, all flushed with the warmth.

More importantly, the glow after you told me you loved me,

that nothing else could quite compare with the way I made you feel.

As my hand find its way to yours under the sheets,

we belong.

Orange

Like the last sunset of our lives,

or I mean the lives we thought we'd have for good.

Your silhouette against the background,

you tell me things I thought I'd never hear;

those things you swore that you'd never say -

"I love you, goodbye".

If the pieces become too small for breaking,

what else is there left to do?

Black

Like the darkness that follow

long after the lights are turned off.

The night crawling in as I twist and turn in bed.

I close my eyes and see you,

feel you, want you; in pitch black darkness,

I long for you.

You left me chapped, bleeding, all dried up.

My heart was not yours for the taking,

but you did anyway.

I hope she tastes my lipstick on your lips,

kiss her gently, slowly, then all at once, passionately.

Breath of Life from a Dying Man

In the humid atmosphere of the crowded room, I felt a drop of sweat trickle down my forehead, travel along the bridge of my nose and fall off the tip where it dove onto the white linen sheets. I watched as the world around me revolved, letting myself take in as much from that moment as I could. "Here I finally am", I said to myself as I gazed upon the hustle and bustle of the non-infectious ward. My friends and future colleagues were all busy with their own patients, taking medical histories and performing physical examinations, all too wary of our preceptors hovering over us to make sure performed the right technique. They have transformed. I have transformed as well as I stood there feeling the unusual rubbing of a stethoscope's tubing at the back of my neck and its weight on my shoulders.

It was the first time I would be able to face an actual admitted patient and deal with him as a fully fledged doctor would. It's all real now, I thought wistfully to myself when a groupmate brought me back to reality as she told me to step back and allow the doctor to pass. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to hear the nurse say out loud that the patient had palpatory blood pressure. In a flash, nurses ran to the bedside attaching an ECG, closing off the bed with a curtain, and ventilating the patient all at once while a medical intern performed CPR. A man with a look of urgency in his face, the son of the patient perhaps, was talking to someone on the phone; his mother maybe?

At a loss for what to feel and how to react, I looked away and tried to focus on the patient we were assessing. I could not help but feel uneasy, however, as I caught glimpses of a motionless face from my peripheral vision. A man was dying. It was as simple as that. A man would soon be dead and in that moment, I was reminded of my own mortality. It was like waking up from a slumber I did not ever know I was in. Shuffling from lectures to labs to SGDs and hospital duties, it is so easy to get lost and one day wake up already having turned into an automaton. By pouring out every ounce of energy in learning how to save another's life, we gradually lose our own. We forget how it is to really live and consequently, we forget the reality of death as well. This may prove to be a great disadvantage eventually. For in forgetting that the grim reaper hovers ever so closely, we fall into a false sense of security and believe that we can go on forever.

If we learn to recognize our own mortality, we are reminded of our deficiencies and the limited time given to fill in the gaps. With this, we can choose to stay in this lull or try our hardest to be the best version of ourselves possible. If we accept that someday this world will continue to exist even after we are no longer, we can make the bold effort to leave behind a part of ourselves and pay it forward. As future physicians, we are trained to be meticulous and comprehensive in everything that we do. But as mortal beings, we are also reminded that we do not and cannot control everything. Despite our best efforts, we will not always win the battle against the disease and we must forgive ourselves when that time comes. Lastly, by acknowledging that we are mortal, we accept that it is not only by our hands that the patient is healed but that we are merely instruments through which He does His healing.

I saw that dying man a year and a half ago. Since then, I have witnessed the same scene a number of times more and I know that still more is to come. However, the imagery of that August afternoon has stayed with me all this time and I thank that dying man for allowing me to witness his exit because by dying, he reminded me how to live. He allowed me to awaken from my slumber and I do not wish to fall asleep again. I want to always be awake, alive, so that someday when I am in his place, I may leave as gracefully as he did.

Written by Frances Mae O. Gumapon of Batch Asterion

Rumors Beyond the Flat Line

For most of us, death and dying bring negative images in our minds. During halloween, we think of death as the scary, black-hooded creature holding a scythe, ready to destroy life. And then we look at the cadavers in the anatomy lab, some of us take pity on them, others get scared of them (even avoid the MSH at later hours!) and most think how they'd rather not end up like them. Also, we imagine ourselves, as future doctors, how we would find ways to save our patients' lives and prevent them from dying. It is not just doctors, but scientists as well who continue to research how they can manipulate death. All these efforts to stop death have been made because death is often associated with an interruption to a happy life. People fear death because of the uncertainty of what could be on the other side of it.

The fear, insecurity and uncertainty associated with our perception of death are valid. After all, medicine has taught us to be evidence-based, and there are no studies sufficiently proving that people who died were in a much better condition than when they were living. Our scientific method falls short as to what really happened to them after they die. Science cannot investigate if they were annihilated, reincarnated to another form or if they were transported to some other place.

Because what happens to a person after he dies cannot be studied by Science and Medicine, we are only left with certain belief systems for it. Beyond death is actually where the issue of faith comes along. While it is true that we have faith (or simply belief) in Science and Medicine, these are matters that can be directly observed, quantified, reproduced and validated. They are tangible things. Death, on the contrary, is not a reproducible experiment. What we believe about death is simple something we hold as true even if we have no way of finding out if we are right.

The human race has six basic theories of what happens to us after we die, namely, they are:

1. Materialism. It assumes that this material universe is all that there is and all that will ever be. Therefore, it assumes that death is the end of a person. A person merely ceases to exist. This is the belief of atheists.

2. Paganism. The "pagan", polytheistic religions like that of ancient Rome and Greece believe that the soul of a person continues to exist in a ghost form. This "ghost" then goes to the place of the dead, which is the Underworld and dwells there in a less-than living state.

3. Pantheism. A held belief of Eastern mysticism is that everything in the universe encompasses God. Therefore when a person dies, he gets absorbed into God. Death has not really changed anything. It is only an illusion.

4. Reincarnation. After a person dies, he takes the form of another body. In that body, the soul attempts to learn its lessons in order to reach a stage of "enlightenment". When it attains sufficient enlightenment, it becomes either absorbed into God (like Pantheism) or it reverts to a divine status.

5. Immortality. The soul of the person survives death, but the body becomes destroyed. The soul then either goes to its eternal destiny of heaven or hell, which may be achieved through stages of reincarnation. This is Platonism, and is often confused with Christianity.

6. Resurrection. When a person dies, his soul gets separated from the body. Depending upon the judgment of God, he will either go to heaven or to hell. In heaven, and will acquire a new physical body and will live on forever with God. But if the person goes to hell, he will suffer damnation forever. Its main difference with the immortality theory is that the person who is in heaven will acquire a new physical body.

There may never be studies enough to fully validate which one of these theories is true. But at this point, at least we have identified what we believe in. What is the point of knowing this? Will this improve our (future) clinical practice? Our belief regarding death is important because what we believe in becomes a controlling factor in our lives. Our beliefs influence us and the people around us. 

But what if, there really is a way of validating our beliefs? Supposing that just one person who died and came back to life again, and related to us what happened to him, he could become a good source of information on the matter, wouldn't he? As long as we are certain that he hit that flat line, then he got revived miraculously, and that he is not a liar, we would have no reason to disbelieve him. We will believe the information that he will tell us.

We were talking about a hypothetical person in a hypothetical situation but actually, we have a historical person who legitimately died and came back to life, and who is not known to be a liar. If you would be interested about what he said about the other side of death, that will be our topic for the second part of this article next month... :)

Written by Brice Serquina of Batch Spectra

Movember

Photo from www.colintiernydesign.com

More than just a fad among men who can grow their mustache and beard, Movember (from the Australian slang "mo" for "moustache" and "November") is a yearly event that aims to raise awareness on men's health issues like testicular cancer, prostate cancer, and other associated charities related to male cancers. The charity event is spearheaded by the Movember Foundation, at their website movember.com. Their goal is to "change the face of men's health."

Men (able or unable to grow beards and mustaches) and women alike are encouraged to get involved in this advocacy. The aim is to initiate conversations among men regarding early cancer detection, diagnosis, and effective treatments. Concrete actions such as annual check-ups, healthier lifestyle, and awareness of family history of cancer can be done.

For more information, visit Movember Foundation's website

November is Movember Month

Written by Dena Desabille of Batch Spectra

Hanya Mask

The Hanya mask depicts the complexities of human emotions. It is said to be demonic and dangerous, but also sorrowful and tormented. If you look at the drawing straight ahead, the mask appears angry. However, when it is tilted slightly down, the demons look sorrowful.

How about you, what does your mask show?

As an afterthought, here is a quote; "Pain wears no mask. It makes man humble." (Kishore Bansal)

Artwork by Shera Singco of Batch Spectra

Editor's Note: We are introducing a new section of The Caduceus Online called "CIM Pulse". The objective of this section is to gather insights, opinions, and comments from fellow medical students. Every month, we will be posting a question that will hopefully ignite healthy discussions and sharing of ideas in our community. It does not have to be profound or lengthy; we would love a candid answer from you.

Read an answer to the November CIM Pulse question below.

"I view death as one of the means to keep me grounded. It is God's way of telling us to slow down and that He is in control. Sometimes, I see doctors who have this 'god complex'. I guess, because as students, they have read thousands of pages on how the human body works and spent innumerable hours perfecting their skills in saving lives and so, if man does not die, it is only logical that doctors should be able to cure everything and make sick patients well again. It is ironic how the reality of death becomes a big wake up call and for me, an encounter with a dying patient is a privilege because they teach us that important lesson we so often forget. Life is borrowed. Personally, in my practice as a nurse before, I feel thankful when I care for dying patients. It makes me appreciate life more. It directs my life by understanding fully that the world is fleeting. It is a motivation to improve the patient's quality of life up to his last breath because, as doctors, we are not here to prevent death. We are here to improve our patient's quality of life. And most importantly, as God's children, we have to make the most of our lives by becoming what He has planned for us."

Written by Sofia Aparece of Batch Spectra 

CIM Participates in the TOWNS Second Young Women Leaders' Forum

Participants from CIM with TOWNS awardees

Cebu Institute of Medicine was invited to participate in the Second Young Women Leaders' Forum, organized by The Outstanding Women in the Nation's Service (TOWNS) Foundation Inc. Eleven young women from CIM attended the event held earlier today from 9:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M., at the University of Southern Philippines Foundation Tourism and Hotel Management Hall Auditorium.

This year's theme; "Women Responding to Disaster: Conversations with TOWNS 2013 Awardees" featured talks by some of the awardees who excelled in their respective fields and on how their expertise could contribute to enhancing the efficiency of response during disasters, namely:

1) Ana Karina de Leon Brown for Sports who talked about staying fit physically and mentally

2) Noraida Adang Abdullah Karim for Social Work who shared her experiences in organizing the communities of internally displaced persons

3) Dr. Ma. Amihan Ramolete for Theatre Arts who imparted her knowledge about coping with disaster through creative expression

4) Ma. Rachelle R. Gerodias for Performing Arts who sang and spoke about surviving with music-making

5) Dr. Maricor N. Soriano for Applied Physics who gave tips on do-it-yourself gadgets in times of disaster

The activity was sponsored by the Metrobank Foundation. Its ultimate goal was to inspire and to empower young women in taking the lead for nation building and improving the status of our country.

Written by Dena Mae Amor N. Desabille of Batch Spectra