With the most recent success of our very own Batch Syncytia in the Philippine Medical Licensure Exam, having not only come through with 100% passing rate but landing the top 1 and 5 spots as well, this humbled creature is left gaping in awe. Bragging rights aside, I sincerely couldn't be more proud (or more pressured) of their achievements. The caliber of the CIM student body never ceases to amaze me. In comparison, I feel like a fish out of water. Scratch that, I feel like a fish on Mars. After a semester, I would've expected to have a handle on things by now. But, well, to steal a line from my pal Thorin Oakenshield, "I have never been so wrong."
Caught up in the whirlwind of massive texts, pilfered notes, and nearly drowning myself in cup after cup of my new-found best friend: coffee (because my once-faithful sidekick ice cream has forsaken me) in a futile attempt to catch up with everything and everyone, it feels like I've just succeeded in digging myself an early grave. Feeling lost, confused, unsure of what to do, where to go, what to eat, and which to read first, these have never felt more familiar to me than these past few weeks. Sleep deprivation has become the norm not only for me but for every single disillusioned freshman, sleeping at ungodly hours and forcing ourselves out of bed at the crack of dawn, only managing to steal a few short hours of shuteye every day if we're lucky and maybe even beating ourselves up over the fact that we should have studied more. What with all the studying, prioritizing, and keeping up with the reading material, it certainly feels as though med school has fully taken over our lives.
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But giving credit where it's due, we had been warned, we all knew this wasn't going to be an easy ride and that we'd have to make sacrifices along the way. After all, we belong among the best, it's only fitting that we have to prove we are the best. But making those tough choices is as simple as deciding with your SGD-mates where you all want to eat for lunch (serious dilemma, people). Somewhere along the line when my inner toddler was clinging to her blankie and bawling her eyes out for her mommy, I realized it pays to have a strong support system not just now but for the next couple of years we'll be spending in this institution. When we fail, it's easy to lose sight of ourselves, our dreams, our goals. We may start to ask ourselves if this is worth it, begin to doubt ourselves and our ability to make it through, and that's when our fears start to take control.
It's the time we dedicate and sacrifice and invest in our passions that make them so important. Others may not see it, no one else may understand, but if you know this is what you truly love, don't ever give it up. Don't let a few doubters and naysayers destroy your dream, not even yourself. It's true that you are your worst critic, so don't be too hard on yourself. Acknowledge your mistakes, accept that you cannot change them, learn from them, and move on. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small and insignificant you think they may be, because you're great in the eyes of those who love you. Don't ever think you're unworthy or not good enough because the simple truth of the matter is, you're awesome just the way you are, so don't ever start to believe otherwise.
Trust you heart, have faith in yourself, and have no doubt that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to do. We may be braving uncharted territories, but we're in this together. I may not know what the future will bring, but a few parting words from the not-so-wise: keep on pushing.
Written by Elizabeth Wagas of Batch Vertex
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